WTF is Aaron Wearin' Today?

Knit Pic

May 272015


HELP! We need your donations to purchase and put Aaron in this knit sweater suit that was clearly made for him (seriously, though - we'll need your help getting it on him)! There is a time and a place for fiber fashion, and we believe the time is now, and the place is Aaron.

This multi-color ensemble features an incredibly slimming silhouette and colors that complement his rainbowesque complexion, not to mention his body language. Just LOOK at that afghanistance he's giving us! GLORIOUS!

50 Shades of Nay

May 212015


Congratulations, Aaron! We just heard you've been cast to play the role of Kinky Mr. Rogers (i.e. Christian Gay) in the steamy sequel to the hit film 50 Shades of Grey, 50 Shades of Nay!

Don't let his tie and demurely buttoned-up cardi fool you... Aaron's no blushing maiden when it comes to romance. For Aaron, the risqué metal "handcuffs" and minimalistic goatee make every day a beautiful day in the neighborhood... if you know that I mean.

Perhaps if Aaron spent less time doing whatever it is that he does in front of the mirror OTHER than evaluating and (ultimately) rethinking his wardrobe choices, this outfit might not have received a "yea" and been thrust upon the eyes of his public.

The Magical Mullet Sweater

Mar 262015


Aaron couldn't be more serious and dedicated to his work wardrobe, professional appearance, and the impression he leaves his clients with as he commandingly ends every meeting with a, "And that's just how it's gonna be, guys... like it or not."

But on Fridays when the week is coming to an end, he's closed a couple of big business deals like a boss, and the promise of a relaxing weekend sweater shopping spree is so close he can almost reach out and touch it (and this weekend he might indulge in a brand new floral-print coffee mug, too...Squeel!), Aaron likes to let loose and and relax a little. On these days, he dons this magical mullet sweater, perfectly evoking the business in the front, party in the back Friday afternoon feeling. TGIF!

Bare-ly a Sweater

Mar 122015


Today's featured Aaron look is for the guys and gals out there too afraid to go all-in and bear their bellies in a fashion-forward crop top.

The flesh-hued bottom half of this light and springy sweater Aaron is aptly modeling for us today gives the gentle illusion that you are unabashedly showing bare skin from pecs down and belt up! 


Mar 062015


Aaron is humble. When hounded by the press to give fashion tips about how to dress like random office figurines (see the odd and strikingly similarly striped item peeking into the right side of the picture), he just smiles, waves, and says, "No comment!"

But when really pressed to share some of his priceless knit-know hows from his closet of sweater knowledge, Aaron will occasionally share little gems like this: "Wherever you go, it's important to blend in. I call it 'Office and Life Camouflage.' For example, here I am buying sticky notes, shopping for party food, and crossing the street."

Freddy Kru-Neck Sweater

Mar 022015


Although not red and green like Freddy Kurger's inspiration sweater, Aaron's Freddy Kru-Neck sweater pays homage to the stylish look that child-killers across America love.

When deciding how to dress his character, Freddy Kruger, creator Wes Craven chose the color and style of sweater because he read an article in Scientific American that reported red and green were the two most clashing colors to the human retina. Obviously he hadn't seen this little number from Aaron's collection.

Button-Down the Hatches...

Feb 112015


This sweater isn't SUB par. Its lightly heathered grey color hides the possible (and inevitable) condiment and crumb conundrums caused by cravings satisfied by a quick nosh SANDWICHED between office meetings. And BONUS! Deep pockets are perfect for two-for-one hoagie deals (see how Aaron's left pocket sinks a little lower than his right?).

In fact, this sweater looks so good you don't even notice that, sadly, due to a tragic knitting accident when he was 7, Aaron is now forced to live with a left handwhich.

GesundhTight-Neck Sweatshirt

Feb 092015


Remember the Foul-Neck from a while back? How could you forget? Well, just in case you did, here it is in the handsome, masculine shade of Whispering Cranberry Autumn Sunrise!

This soft, self-scarfing stylish sweatshirt has a neck-kerchief built in, ready to clean up mid-sentence sneezes (which Aaron is demonstrating here). And if, like Aaron, you have a seriously sensitive schnoz, this sweatshirt is perfect for you. It's made from 100% allergen-free material, comprised of 90% cocky head-tilt, 9% hand-on-hipster, and trace amounts of sass.